Dear Abby: My fiancé spends all night playing video games

August 24, 2026 - 14:20

A reader has written in with a familiar but painful complaint: her fiancé stays up until five in the morning playing video games almost every night. She says she feels invisible, lonely, and increasingly resentful. They are supposed to be planning a wedding, but instead she goes to bed alone while he sits in the living room with a headset on, talking to strangers online.

The woman explains that she has tried talking to him about it, but he brushes it off, saying it is his way to unwind after work. She worries that if this is how he behaves now, marriage will only make things worse. She asks Abby whether she is overreacting or if this is a real red flag.

Abby responds with a clear warning: this is not about the video games themselves, but about priorities. When a partner consistently chooses a screen over shared time, that is a sign of disconnection. She advises the reader to set a firm boundary before the wedding. That means having a direct conversation about what she needs in the relationship, and what she will no longer accept. If he cannot compromise or even acknowledge her feelings, Abby says, she should seriously reconsider moving forward with the marriage.

The advice is blunt but practical: love is not just about saying yes to a proposal. It is about showing up, every day, for the person you promised to share a life with. If he will not put down the controller for her, he is not ready to pick up the responsibilities of a husband.